My partner or ex may see my Instagram messages or Facebook activity. Should I remove their access immediately?
The short answer
Your safety comes first. Removing access, blocking contact or changing passwords may be noticed and could escalate abuse. You do not need to prove spyware is installed before seeking help. If possible, contact a local domestic-abuse specialist from a different device the person cannot access. If danger is immediate, contact local emergency services.
What this answer is based onWhat to do
Private browsing does not make a monitored device safe. Do not sign newly protected accounts back into a device you suspect is monitored.
- Choose how to get support before changing access. With a specialist, consider who can reach you physically, whether your device or recovery email is accessible to them, and how you could receive help if changes are noticed. A borrowed device is not automatically safe.
- Plan evidence preservation only if it is safe. Discuss keeping dates, message links and threatening Instagram or Messenger messages somewhere the person cannot access. Reporting may lead to content removal; resetting a phone may erase evidence. Do not confront the person or collect more evidence at personal risk.
- Agree on a sequence and timing, rather than changing everything at once. When the plan supports it, consider recovery email, unique passwords, two-factor authentication and existing sessions together. Plan blocking, reporting and device support separately. Restoring a full backup may reinstall spyware; get specialist advice before a reset or restoration.
The situation
An ex refers to private Instagram conversations and reacts angrily when access changes. Rather than testing their reaction with a password change, you discuss safer timing and communication with a support worker.
The situation and an improvement
Immediately log out every session and reset the phone.
Consider escalation, support and evidence before deciding which changes are safe.
More examples
Facebook recovery email is shared
Reset messages could be visible to your ex.
What to do
Include the email and recovery route in the safety plan before requesting a reset.
You want to report threats
An Instagram conversation may be important evidence.
What to do
Ask a support worker about safe documentation and reporting order; preserving evidence must not come before immediate safety.
What this answer is based on
FTC · Stalkerware: What To Knowconsumer.ftc.govNNEDV Safety Net · Technology Safety PlaneSafety Commissioner · Online safety checklistGuide based on Meta’s materialReview details
Source reviewed:
We read the official source listed for this topic. Other Meta rules are reviewed separately.
FTC, NNEDV Safety Net and eSafety safety guidance was read; reviewed on 6 November 2026. These sources support planning around technology-facilitated abuse, not current Meta menus, a device diagnosis or an individual safety assessment. Instagram and Facebook scenarios are illustrative. No account or device was tested.
Include the guide link, language and wording that needs checking. Add an official source link if you have one. Do not send passwords, login codes or photos of identity documents.
Examples are made up to explain the guidance. Meta decides individual account and content cases.
Sources and related topicsPolicy Graph · Demo in development